I remember being singled out when I was younger and deliberately left out of things because nobody wanted to be with me. One time when were were in the city shopping, my sibblings and a few cousins were sitting at a table while we were waiting for our parents to finish up. There were two tables beside each other and there was only enough room at one table for everybody minus one. I was the odd one out. One person got up to go do something and I happily slid into the vacant spot so I could join with everybody around the table. As soon as I sat down, everybody simultaneously stood up and moved to the other table, where the person who had previously got up came rushing back and took the last spot. They all laughed at me as I sat there alone and started crying. I will never forget that day and how much it hurt me.
I couldn’t help but think of that incident last Sunday when I had my party at my house with the same cousins, the only difference was that nearly everyone had a spouse or a girlfriend with them. We were playing a group game and we were divided into 2 groups of 4. 3 of my team members sat on the sofa while I sat in a chair, which was fine. A while into the game as people were occasionally getting up and moving back and forth between the snack table and the living room and mingling around, I decided to sit on the couch to be beside my cousins and my sister and her husband so I could be a better participant in my team. At that point everybody got up to get some snacks since I had just got a fresh plate of snacks I remained where I was. When everybody else got what they wanted they each sat in different places or just stood around instead of coming back and sitting down beside me. I felt so strange sitting on the couch alone, and very confused at why they didn’t come back. I invited them to come sit down but they just joked that they wanted to be close to the snack table because the snacks were so good. There could have been truth in that but I was instantly transported back to the above incident when I was younger. It hurt so much. I looked around at everybody as they were all happy and coupled off and laughing and joking with each other and I just felt so alone. I was literally fighting as hard as I could not to cry, and not to show how upset I felt. Eventually my sisters husband came and sat at the other end of the couch and the game resumed. But the hurt still lingers on…
My Life Bipolar 